Work Sucks

I am so sick of my job. Customer service sucks. People just beat you up. I have been in my current job for over 3 years. I love the company I work for and the people I work with. I work with my best friend and have made many other wonderful friends. This is the only thing that keeps me there. My last job was the exact opposite. I loved my job but hated my coworkers.

When I started my job I didn't think it was too bad. After about a year and a half of dealing with crappy customers, I started getting sick of it. Then I went on maternity leave, came back, and was okay again for awhile. Now I'm just over it. It stresses me out. It wears on me. I have tried for promotions/different positions only to be let down. If I could just get off the phones, I feel like I could be happier. The longer I'm in my current position, the more bitter I become and more I suck at my job. I used to be great, happy friendly, customer service Jessica. Now I'm sick of people's crap. I'm trying to suck it up until I can finally get that promotion I deserve, but the smart ass has started coming out of me. Please pray I can suck it up a little while longer.

You would probably think talking on the phone all day would not wear you out...but it does. By the time I get home, I am exhausted. My couch calls my name. I really wish my gym would move the punching bag to a more private location. It is located right at the front of the gym where people come in and out. I would love to punch it out and call it a day, but I would be way too embarrassed. I'm thinking about asking them if there is anywhere else they can put it.

Luckily, all is forgotten from my crappy work day when I get home. My sweet son greets me with a huge smile, hug, and kiss, and my husband too. They are my reason. They make me want to be healthy. I want to be healthy and live long for them.

Happy Good Friday! Goodnight.

Easter Candy

You know those little mini cadbury eggs? Well...I made the mistake of getting a bag while getting little man's Easter basket together. I think we went shopping...Tuesday? Bag is done today. I shared at least.

I am going to start walking Monday. I am looking forward to it. I am finally going to put my fears behind me and just do it. I'm grateful for the support I've been given lately to help push me.

Off subject..I got me a new phone today. I love it. The iPhone 5  :) I'm hoping to use it more for when I walk too. I need to get Endomundo app.

Well, I'm tired but I really wanted to make sure I posted tonight. I'll hopefully have a chance to write more tomorrow!

Update

I've been absent awhile. I'm not surprised, I'm terrible at keeping up a blog. Plus, I've been ashamed of myself. I feel like every time I write I have to give some new excuse as to why I have been unsuccessful. Excuse after excuse gets old. I get sick of hearing it come from my own mouth. 

I signed up for a 5k about 2 weeks ago. I'm super stoked. I wanted to start training when I signed up but I fell on my arm. I hurt it bad. It is not broken, however, my disability makes it a little tougher to maneuver with one arm. The doctors say try to be as immobile as possible. HAHA very funny. I have a wild toddler. This is not super easy. My husband has been extremely helpful with taking care of little man and doing things around the house. Once again though, exercise is halted. I feel like it has been one thing after another. 

I started thinking. Yes, it has sucked, but I think in the back of my head I have welcomed the excuses to get me out of exercise. I'm scared to start back. I'm lazy. I am afraid of the 5k and looking like a wimp when I'm sweating after 3.1 miles. People RUN 3.1 miles daily. It is nothing. It scares the crap out of me though. So many healthy people will be there. 

After talking to a friend last night, I decided, screw it. I can do this. I am stronger than my injury. I have joined a small group of women in a fitness/support group. I am amazed at the support I have been given. It really does help to have people cheering for you and truly rooting for you to succeed. I feel very blessed that they have asked me to join their group. 

New Hair

Everyone!! Come and see how good I look!! :)

I luuuurve it. Automatic confidence boost. Now to get my workout on. I'm getting my sexy back!!

Feeling Mopey

Oh woe is me. Poor pitiful me. I go through these moods sometimes. I hate them. I feel bad about myself, low self-esteem, sad for no reason...I hate it. I used to be the most confident girl. I want that back so bad.

I'm feeling fat and ugly. I have a husband that makes me feel beautiful and a little boy that thinks I'm the world, but I can't seem to make myself feel that way.

I have been going strong on the no fast food since January 7th. I have not drank a coke in 7 days. These things are great, but I haven't worked out, I still eat bad, and I've been sick off and on since November.

I think being sick off and on since November has taken its toll. I am mentally exhausted. I am physically exhausted. The husband has given me times to rest too. I feel like I'm losing my mind.

I was letting my hair grow out to its natural color. I started doing that this time last year. It's only halfway there. I can't take it anymore. I'm getting it done Tuesday. I'm hoping it makes me feel pretty. I need something to make me feel pretty.

I keep saying I'm going to start back to the gym. Things keep coming up. MUST.FIND.TIME.

Sorry for the uber depressing post. I needed to let some of that out.

Lent

I have never participated in lent before, but I have chosen to this year. I think it is a great opportunity to rid myself of something for 40 days. I have chosen to give up soda for 40 days.

Maybe I can finally mark that goal off my list! :) I know how bad it is but it tastes soooo good.

Success!

It's been 1 whole month no fast food!! I at least achieved one of my goals. This makes me feel so good I'm going to go for 2 months now. No fast food until March 7th!!

I have been severely slacking otherwise. No working out in the last couple of weeks due to a very irritating sinus infection that comes and goes constantly. It is miserable.

I need to get my booty to the gym. Vacation is pretty much 4 months away...and I would like to lose 30 lbs by then.